During this Vassa. I explored what is the right rhythm of meditation and exercise, study and project work, and being alone and with others. This is the first time I’ll had a stretch of months where I lived without other monastics. It was very interesting to attune to my own sense of balance and schedule.
Solitude – the environment helps lead to stilling
The morning hours at the Vassa Dwelling were so still and calmly supportive for practice.
I stayed on Bainbridge Island except for the few days I was at a family reunion where I stayed in a room a few miles down from the family gathering site. Although there was traffic noise it was still a secluded room for morning practice.
At the Vassa Dwelling, there was a forest to walk in and I spent hours walking and sitting quietly by turns, practicing a continuity of mindfulness in a simple environment.
For the family reunion, because the room I stayed in was several miles down the beach from the family reunion site, I also got several hours of beach walking and quiet sitting during the time away from the Vassa site.
In both settings the external quiet and natural beauty gave a sense of ease and safety that supported inner stilling and the heart grew happy and thoughts were fewer and with less pressure.
Now the Vassa has ended and I am enroute to connect with Karuna Buddhist Vihara monastics and lay people before heading to Thailand.
Earlier today, as I sat in the lounge car of the Starlight Express traveling from Seattle to San Jose with families and individuals relaxing in worldly ways there was the sense of the heart still steeped in the Vassa quiet, still steady, still uncluttered, still safe. However, the sound of music from the phone of a person near me seemed to impinge on the silence and I could rest in the calm still within the heart or grapple my attention onto the screen to continue writing but didn’t have the skill for both. I chose to accept that the conditions for writing with ease were not present, closed the laptop and withdrew to the regular sitting car where I could more easily abide in the happy heart and quiet mind.
It is now early morning and there is no music, no speaking, just the whir and clack of the train. Now the inner quiet is easily maintained even while thinking what to write. I imagine, with continued practice, it will be possible to rest in the peaceful heart while in more and more sense-strong environments.
In the meantime, I will continue to regularly seek out empty huts and roots of trees in unpopulated forests to nourish and grow the practice of stilling.
Study – relaxed, mindful attention
During the Vassa I was working on creating a web application for people, particularly monastics, to study the monastic discipline across multiple traditions. I’ve been out of the world of technology and interface development for nine years now and it is amazing the changes in application development. I am definitely behind the curve, so part of my time was spent in learning tech so I can better support learning monastic discipline.
What strikes me as so different in learning tech now is how I can be relaxed and learning at just the depth needed to accomplish what I hope to create. Gone are the days of being driven to absorb it all to stay somewhere near the head of the techie pack.
Coding practice often, but not always, became a pleasant mindful activity that bridged the quiet on-my-own meditation time I noted above and the interactions with others I note below. Generally, I employed solitary explorations for answers to “how do I get the code to do this or that thing,” but sometimes I knew the time and energy to find the answer would be greatly reduced if I asked for help. There were a few tech savoy practicers I called to teach me or give pointers toward solutions during the Vassa. This connection while learning was valuable in reducing the time it would have taken to figure it all out on my own.
I’m also glad to have the nourishment of the Suttas to engage the heart as well as the mind. Reading the suttas gladdened, uplifted, and pointed toward the wholesome so that my solitude was primed with goodness. The Buddhas words were part of the safe container that supported deeper exploration into my habits and dillusions.
As the years in monastic life begin to accumulate (I am at nine years in robes with six Vassa as a bhikkhunī) I notice how these sutta based teachings are there as I meet people and situations in the world to support and deepen conversations and also my own heart’s cultivation. Many suttas point to the root-of-the-tree for silent cultivation and many others address wise relating within the world. Both teachings support me as I engage with the pains and joys around us as we show up through right relating with all that is.
Sangha – quality connections
Although my dwelling for Vassa housed only me, I felt connected with wonderful Dhamma followers both in robes and in the world.
There was daily contact with Karen or another supporter at the meal offering. A good number of people coming would spend an hour or more in conversation about the Dhamma. Often we focused on a practice of radical self-responsibility in honest seeing and on relaxing into the Dhamma unfolding.
Around each moon-day observance, I did a monastic check in with Ayya Cittananda of Karuna Buddhist Vihara by Zoom and had several other Zoom calls each month with bhikkhunīs from North America and Europe. In this way I was able to stay in touch regarding practice and Vinaya care. Additionally, I had conversations or Dhamma exchanges with the Clear Mountain bhikkhus that were thoughtful, fun, and aligned with cultivation of practices leading to wholesome community and liberation.
The times with the Clear Mountain community at St. Marks in Seattle, the sitting group on Bainbridge Island, and the two meditation daylongs held at Karen’s were full with good Dhamma explorations that again and again pointed to taking responsibility for clear seeing and relaxing into letting go.
At the end of the Vassa there was a Samaṇerī ordination in Port Townsend and with monastics and lay people gathered from several communities it was a special and beautiful transition from the more secluded time to the the time of travel I am again entering.
Finding balance of seclusion, study, and saṇgha made for a deeply enriching, happy Vassa that is likely to be nourishment for monastic life far into the future.
Deep appreciation to Karen, Clear Mountain, and all the people I met around the Pacific Northwest.
beautiful ayya <3